Mental and physical breakdown

its official. I over did it.

nausea, stomach pains, sore throat, headaches, runny nose, cough, lack of focus.
I pushed myself too hard to do well, and when i stress with how weak my immune system is normally and how prone i am to getting horrible sick I didn't stand a chance. I guess i should be thankful I didn't have to go to a hospital this time.  But i feel awful. trying to type up homework and papers and revisions when My head and body feels like I could pass out at any second. so worried at how i am gonna fail.  already had a few crying episodes at how I hate that I can't handle stress and how mad I am at myself for getting sick. I don't know how I will make it, but I gotta try. i can't stop working even if I do end up in the hospital again, I can always push through the pain. even if I am on enough medication to knock out a lion.  4 days and I can pass out and sleep for weeks or months if I want. just if there is a god... let me get through the next 4 days let me feel like I did well. That i'm not a failure that always has severe medical problems that keep her from being able to do things other kids can.  let me at least finish the work for this today and pass out and wake up tomorrow and do my other work.  

Organization

Tonight I have to search through my entire apartment for all my photo work for this semester to give to my teacher for a notebook check tomorrow... and let me just say I am fucked. Although I don't what I could possible make this teacher like me at this point as they picked me out in the beginning of the semester to be a punching bag that get lectured about things not only I do wrong.  I am just glad my parents are understanding about knowing when teachers do have a least favorite student, don't get me wrong she is gonna fail half the class and the entire class hates her, but she takes her stress and annoyance at my classmates on me. I honestly should have dropped the class when I had the chance.  C'est La Vie.

so many papers to write

school is completely overwhelming

ugh i'm so tired it kills

Overwhelmed

All I can think about is all the shit I need to get done in the next two weeks and while I am sitting in class and trying to fall asleep at night.... it wont stop bothering me. I feel kinda sick, the only kind of sick I can get around finals, last semester it wasn't that bad for finals, and my first finals... well I had been in the hospital the week before hand very sick and was then discharged before i was better.... those finals were a blur of painkillers then me flying home to Chicago to go to hospitals there. I think that experience has made college finals seem even more overwhelming and hopeless.

Y-Me Fashion Show

Y-Me is a Breast Cancer organization that has a hotline for people going through breast cancer 24/7, 360 days a year, in 150 languages. I photographed a columbia college fashion show for them last night. Here are some of my favorite photos:

Community

I have recently gotten into the show Community. It is the funniest show I have ever watched. Even with it being only on its 3rd season it is a very popular show. I highly recommend watching it. The head writer is a genius.

Stress

Finals will be the death of me. That is all.